You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
