Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Another day, another engagement, another cat
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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