just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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