you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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