she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
