What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
