I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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