Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
