Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
