Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
People with herpes should wear stickers.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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