So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
