oh god the rape fog is back!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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