I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize