Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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