Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
