I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
this just has baby written all over it
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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