i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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