Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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