Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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