we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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