woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
it hurts more in the daytime
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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