i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
