Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
