Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
