therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
