It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
