porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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