Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
