okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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