Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
