Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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