Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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