everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
