I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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