No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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