youre lurking in front of me
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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