No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
