Don't you send me to vm
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
