Where is the hickey?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
