I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
