I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize