Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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