She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
