I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
