I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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