Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
