i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
