with your own penis?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
