I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
