Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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