im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
