About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Four minutes until I can fart!
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
