In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
