i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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