This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You had me at "let me see your balls"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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