My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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