David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
