yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
