I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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